That would be mal-uh-dick-shun. Look it up.

A Rant on “Ruth”

I began this on twitter and upon realizing the 140 characters was very constricting to my vehement thoughts, I figured a short blog would be in order.

Forgive me for disparaging christian leaders, the bible and happily marrieds in this post, but I’d like some contextual integrity in this matter. There’s this quote that has been floating around the interwebs for a long time now. I think it’s patently unfair that the funny person who created the saying is not getting proper credit, because I’ve seen it no less than a dozen times in FB. Not only is the person not named, but they made a funny that is completely inaccurate. Let’s dive in and take a look, shall we?

“While waiting on your “Boaz” don’t settle for any of his relatives…Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyingaz, Cheatingaz, Dumbaz, Downlowaz, Fakeaz, Cryingaz, Punkaz, Goodfornothingaz, Lazyaz, and especially his third distant cousins Beatyoaz & Badcreditaz. Please, please, please wait on your Boaz!!”

Now, let’s get this out of the way:
1) This is a PMS-induced rant. Apologies.
2) I DO have a sense of humor. I thought it was funny for about ten seconds, then I bristled.
3) Let me explain myself, and don’t get mad at me for tackling some sacred cows.

The story of Ruth/Boaz for those of you unaware, is in the Bible and fairly popular amongst Christian singles. Christian leaders that I admire have even used Ruth as a role model for single women the world over and have taken the story of her match-made-in-heaven to encourage single women to be a bit bolder regarding dating and the like.

I can go with that. Mostly. But today I’m irritated, because I’ve read that quote on FB a million times and was even told to lighten up when I pointed out the obvious errors.

The story of Ruth is this: a Moabite woman marries a Hebrew dude with an angel for a mom. Ruth and Mother in Law, Naomi, encounter massive amounts of tragedy when their husbands/sons die. Ruth has no hubby and Naomi has no hubby and no sons. This is a DIRE situation for the women since they had no way to make a living. So Naomi decides to head back to Bethlehem to connect with her family. Ruth has the option of staying in Moab, where she is from, but loves Naomi so much, she begs her to let her go with her (it’s gotta be in the Bible- a woman who loves her MIL more than her own family? Totally God.). The two women go to Bethlehem where they survive on the generosity of relatives allowing Ruth to glean wheat in the fields. The field that she receives the most kindness in (translated: no one molests her.) is the field of rich Boaz, distant relative of Naomi’s dead husband. Naomi crafts a plan to essentially force Boaz (or gently nudge him in the right direction) to marry Ruth, as back then people were obligated to marry their relatives widows and take care of them. Naomi tells Ruth to go to Boaz’s place, uncover his feet and sleep there. When he wakes up, he feels obligated to protect the woman’s virtue and to marry her, which he does. It’s not like Ruth seduces him, she just makes her availability known, as it were, by asking Boaz to cover her with his cloak, essentially promising to protect and care for her. As a result, King David is born from their lineage and Jesus is born from their lineage as well.

Story summarized. So what’s my problem?
First off, Ruth is a WIDOW. She was not a single lady, technically. She had already been married. I know this may seem like a minor detail, but for a single, never-married gal, it’s kinda a big deal. She is a role-model for widows, not never-marrieds. If this seems rude, sue me.

Secondly, the quote above talks about “waiting for your Boaz”. Um…what? Ruth goes to Bethlehem with Naomi following the death of her hubby, gleans wheat in a field for a couple months, follows the advice of her MIL and engages in some highly inappropriate behavior and then remarries a super nice, super rich guy and becomes a relative of JESUS CHRIST. She didn’t hang out for a decade waiting for someone to just ask her on ONE FREAKIN’ date, which is what many of the single women in my generation deal with. Where’s the waiting in this story? There isn’t much. While this is definitely a story about trust, faith and obedience, it’s not The Single Woman’s Guide for Snagging a Hubby. And it really is insulting to label it as such. It takes away from the desperate situation of two widows and tries to box it up into something other than the Holy Spirit led command of Naomi to her daughter in law, a beautiful story of miraculous redemption, mirroring our relationship to Christ. It makes it about us orchestrating a husband catching scenario so that we too can marry a guy who is ballin’. That’s secular BS. While I am not interested in marrying a guy who is broke, I am sick to death of the gold-digger cliche women buy into.

I do like the advice from the quote to not settle, but let’s be honest, Ruth and Boaz are simply a miraculous thread used in the life of Jesus. We aren’t gonna marry a guy who is related to Jesus, and some of us are looking to marry our own personal Jesus Christ. I for one do not want to glorify Ruth’s situation or diminish it. It’s her story, not mine. The best thing to glean from her is to trust, obey and follow God. In everything. Had my MIL given me that advice, I woulda told the old woman to shove it and quit trying to turn me into a skank for her own financial gain. But both women were leaning on and listening to the voice of God for help and guidance. They had no other choice.

If that’s what we as single women/men are doing, desperately seeking God’s face, and following His voice, we won’t have to worry about settling for another ass. But if all you’re looking for is ANICEPIECEOAZ, then I promise you, you’ll get it.

I wish christian leaders desperate to find some advice and words of comfort for singles wouldn’t use Ruth as a means to an end, taking her miracle out of context. The Bible can feel very sparse when it comes to issues of singleness, but I promise, it is chock full of wisdom, love, guidance, comfort, rebuke and edification. It’s just that we want a black and white, clear-cut story that we can use as a proof-text for what to do. It ain’t there. God didn’t create this life I live inside a vacuum, and I won’t use the scripture as something to find an easy way out of the difficult questions and difficult moments.

I’m not waiting in my Boaz. I’ve found Him. Or rather, He found me. My kinsman-redeemer is Jesus Christ and I don’t need a man to save my soul.