Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark.
I had a thought this morning. During the course of our entire friendship and dating relationship, my boyfriend has made it a point to get to know me. “well, duh Brooke…isn’t that the point?”
Listen, I mean he has really worked get to know me. He delves a little deeper. He asks about internal motivations. He wants to know my soul.
Ladies, is a man working hard to uncover your soul or your body? You might think that could be hard to figure out, but it’s really as easy as noticing whether or not he pays attention to what you say and if asks leading questions that unveil more about the inner workings of who you are and how you think. My boyfriend has said on more than one occasion “I look forward to discovering more about you.” He does such a great job of this, I find myself rambling about myself and then not reciprocating and asking him probing questions. I really hope he doesn’t start to think I’m dating him for his hot bod. Rwar.
A good man will be attracted to your external beauty and internal beauty. He should be both interested in your mind and your heart, not just your measurements.
And if a guys weakness if focusing on a woman’s body, I would hazard to say women focus on how a guy makes them feel. Compliments, gifts, lingering touches, suggestive conversation all make a woman feel desired and wanted. You can idolize that feeling and disregard that a man isn’t really interested in the whole package, that his one-dimensional approach negates your soul. Feelings are wonderful servants, lousy masters.
Don’t ever attack a man’s visual weakness, when you yourself fly on the whims of your emotions. Don’t stay with a guy because he makes you FEEL good. Basically, that means you idolize yourself and any man who incites those feelings will do.
So pay attention to the questions he asks, how he pursues your BRAIN, how much he is interested in the internal workings of you, and don’t let your feelings about his desiring you cloud that issue.